"Thou Shalt Not Covet" Exodus 20:17

In reading "The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible" By A.J. Jacobs, in which a man lives by the Bible fundamentally for a full year, a daunting task at best in today's landscape, this commandment struck me most fiercely. Imagine if the whole population in North America and Europe followed this to the T. Millions of jobs would cease to exist, namely advertising, and commerce and economy would change to something totally unrecognizable. This commandment can be broken innocently and quickly. That commercial for the new iPod nano video, the one where Feist sings 1,2,3,4 draws you in easily. Suddenly you (I) want that iPod video and the iTunes download for Feists' new track. See? I did it twice in that one commercial. I coveted two things! Our whole society works, nay thrives, on coveting others things and lives. I don't work like I do to survive, I work as hard as I do to be able to fulfil my covetous desires. Does this mean we are a truly Godless society? Are we so far gone from God? Those that would condemn our society for it are perpetrators themselves. Look at your local pastors' house, car, children, education...they are all products of coveting. Even the most innocent activity is fraught by covetous tendencies. Why are you eating steak? Is it because that is all there is to feast upon or you have a craving? I would assume the latter.
Humans have accomplished many wonderful things as a result of defying Exodus 20:17, Edison, Newton, Einstein, they all wanted something better for the world and themselves. Is that not the essence of coveting? But is it also not the essence of us as humans? What separates us from the animals? And yet according to the bestselling book of all time, that ancient scripture, the Bible, forbids it. How can we as a race compete. Hell is going to be full to overflowing and heaven as underpopulated as a skating rink in Alaska. Are there exceptions? Is God really watching us repeatedly sin and damning us to hell without context for what is being coveted? We will never know. I am not judging our way of life, I myself take every opportunity to abuse my credit card after a bad day at work. I do take issue with those who claim to live by "the word of God" literally and yet still manage to participate in the activities of consumerism. Maybe the Amish are the only peoples who can claim purity in this area. I leave it to you, dear reader, to cast your vote.

A few things that made me throw up a little...

This week has been the week of literature induced vomiting.
1) While reading The Girls of Riyadh, which beautifully written, engrossing novel, the lives of Saudi women became painfully real. For so long I had prevented this reality from entering my mind, preferring instead to pretend that this way of life had gone the way of the chastity belt and the Dodo. Women married to men they don't know or like, divorced at the whim of their husbands, to bare the brunt of their culture's scorn for their "disgrace". If you have a strong stomach I highly recommend women and men read this book.

2) Vaginoplasty/hymenoplasty (see previous post)

3) Female suicide bombers: or any suicide bomber for that matter makes me feel ill. I'd like to consider myself open minded and accepting of all religions, except those that behold murderers as saints "to be greeted by 72 virgins in heaven". By the way if you get to have these virgins, then where do the next 72 come from? Or are they like bowling balls at the alleys that get recycled ready for the next person? Whats the point? Killing infidels? If everyone felt that way we'd all eventually be dead and there would be no one left to be right! Heaven and hell would come apart at the seams from the massive influx of souls. Or is this just semantics?

4) Fistula hospitals in Africa: girls as young as 12 and 13 being married, becoming pregnant before they are physically able to deal with child birth, labouring for days while the baby dies and they become septic, pressure causing a fistula to develop between the vagina and rectum, getting abandoned by their husbands and shunned by their community because they can't control their bowels or bladder!? They go to this fistula hospital to have their gynecological health seen to and to attempt to rebuild their lives.

Actually there seems to be a theme here. Women in other countries aren't treat how we in the western world are. Now I'm not saying that everyone should become like the west, but women should not be treated like chattle. We can be a tad hormonal (the guffaws coming from my husband can be heard down the street!) but we don't deserve that!

You want to do WHAT to WHERE?

I just finished reading an article on hymenoplasties and vulvuloplasties. Essentially a plastic surgeon sews your hymen back together (for a hymenoplasty) to "re-virginize" you. Who wants that!? Seriously, it was bad enough the first time! It's like the first day of high school, you only ever want to do it once. Is this for the man who has everything? It sure as hell ain't for the woman unless she has some weird sado-masochistic fetish in which case - whatever floats your boat I guess. But spending $130 on a "Rabbit Vibrator" is one end of extravagance in the name of sex but $4000 to go through something that was, frankly, shit the first time and messy and Christ, very expensive for a one shot deal?! Forget it. Not for this freak. If I were to loose all touch with reality and actually do this, I imagine the lucky guy that would get to deflower part 2, would need to go through a very rigorous interview and audition process. I'm talking full under the hood inspection, a few test runs (minus the enchilada, we need to make $4000 worth it!), a full psychological evaluation, hell I'd even have him sign up for the NASA astronaut tryouts while I'm at it!

Seriously, what is it about our culture that has left such a void that freakish surgery is the latest and greatest beauty treatment? I can't imagine after the few NECESSARY surgeries I've had, electing to have surgery on my vagina to make it prettier or "like new". If a man is down there looking at it, he's not doing what he should while down there. I heard it argued that women were embarassed when they went to their doctor...well ladies, they knew what they were signing up for! And you're definately not the first woman to walk in with labia that could double as a hacky sac. Get over it! Boobs and noses are one thing, but I'm going to leave my other "lady parts" out of this.

WIFE

Throughout history women have been slotted into neat little categories. Wife, mother, whore, spinster, etc. In a post-birth control, post-equal rights legislation era one would assume these would be relegated to quaint little footnotes in history books we hand to our children. Sadly these are in full effect with a few new ones added to the bunch to keep up with the times.
Take for example Boudica the historical/mythical woman of legend who went into battle at the head of an army after an invasion into her country and the rape of her daughters. She is lauded as a warrior and depicted as a fierce amazonian woman weilding a spear. Lets simplify, her shit was destroyed and her daughters violated, she was pissed off and decided to get revenge instead of sit at home and wait for someone else to do it. She was proactive, extraordinary yes but she took initiative. When a woman does something outside of these categories she is treated like a dog who just began speaking. "OOOH look what she did! Amazing!" Thanks for the kudos but hell...
Marriage follows. If you're a wife you organize family social gatherings, make sure the house is clean, make sure your husband has clean underwear while he eats a healthy yet tasty meal you made following a recipe from the Chatelaine you found at your 50 hour/week job. Then theres kids (I just don't have the strength to go there!). When a husband cleans house, or makes a meal, society throws him a cookie, pats his head while making the whip noise behind his back. What the hell? Am I on crack or do we both work full time? My husband never complains. We have a rule, you make a mess you clean it, you're home first, you make the meal, the other cleans (this one went out the window since my cooking could be used for the execution of death row inmates).

At work a female in a position of authority is a mega bitch, a man is efficient. If a woman is anything but a wife and mother we need to find out why, and when she will join the ranks of exhalted said state. As a married woman without children my belly is watched carefully. My theoretical maternity leave has been the fodder for a meeting or two at work for future department planning. SAYS WHO? Some days I think I should turn up to work with a pillow under my shirt to screw with people.

Lets just be women without labels. That's all

Strong Women?

It is the post-feminist age. We, as women, are no longer chained to the stove, servants to our husbands and vending machines for babies. We are free, to work and be strong in a society that values our minds and personality. Whew that was some serious sarcasm. It has been over 40 years since the feminist movement, 60 years since we started our infiltration of the work force and yet we have regressed to the medieval era so fast we don't even realize it. In our orgy of freedom we have found another shackle to lock ourselves up with - sexuality. That doesn't mean we can't sleep with whom ever we please or stay single should we wish, but we will get put into a category. A pleasantly simple categorization of who we are summed up into monosyllabic words i.e. slut, dyke, whore, strange etc. You get my drift.

Yet amidst all the noise of our labels being thrown around, we are strangely silent. I see the subtle morphing of our role models from the discreet and ever graceful Audrey Hepburn of the 50's and 60's to the horribly insipid Paris Hilton who is famous for being famous. In one of her recent videos she hops around on the bed of a 12 year old in her underwear and it is considered a sexy marketing ploy to boost album sales and was no doubt the brain-child of her record company. Switch the video around to a 26 year old man doing the same with a 12 year old girl and we suddenly have a massive lawsuit on our hands.

We have embraced our new roles as bread winner, intellectual and career woman all the while making sure that we are considered sexy as we do so. God forbid that we forget the lip gloss or low cut blouse as we administer to our duties at work. I am certainly not innocent of this. I NEVER turn up to work without my hair done or lipstick perfectly applied. Why? Who cares? Clearly I do but who do I want to be pulled together for? Do I equate outward beauty and allure with success? Damn right! Even as a young girl I was told by my mother to make sure I brushed my hair and made sure I looked pretty before going out on a date, not be brilliant, be witty, be funny. That would de-value me as a woman to the opposite sex. I would be boring if I didn't at least try to be eye candy (I'm really not eye candy, I have to rely on personality - I never did get to my hoped for height of 5'8).

I have also noticed in social circles that if I have a strong opinion about an issue (I have so many!!) that I can discuss with a level of intelligence about that of a Jerry Springer show, men proceed thus...down turned mouth, widened eyes and a hastily delivered excuse about needing another drink...when they had a full one in their hands. My husband and I had this discussion last night. When he first met me, he confessed, I freaked him out. I had strong opinions, a big mouth (figuratively) and no apologies for who I was. He said I was cute but he was intimidated. Luckily for me though he got past that quickly and we have had many in depth conversations since. If I were reduced by him to the sum total of my parts (let's say I had actually had them) big boobs, long legs, slim waist, tight, revealing clothes, I honestly think he would have been instantly attracted, and just as instantly bored.

Ladies, we need to change things a little. Sexuality is not a bad word, boobs are made to be seen but not to eclipse our inner selves. Men will always look, however we need to make sure that they promptly continue that gaze up to our faces to observe the words coming out of our mouths, the ideas flowing from our minds and if they remain oblivious to that, make sure you position your middle finger precisely at the level of your face so that they may see that too.

Happy New Year!!

All the best to my family, friends and colleagues in the coming year. May we all be blessed with good fortune and happiness in 2007!!
Auld lang syne

Oh the Shame of It All

In response to Ann Coulter's 'Godless' book released June 2006- Is it just me or does anyone feel like they are listening to a high school bully spew hatred in the middle of the school halls? Or perhaps of a child kicking and screaming in the centre of a room? The package can look nice but what's inside is still crap. That's all Ann Coulter is, well packaged and marketed crap. By the way, aren't nice conservative WASPs such as herself supposed to be married with a few children, or has that paradigm shifted too? I guess being 40+ and single can be the new conservative. Yeah, I said it.

If ever there was a wasted degree it's hers. She would have been better flipping burgers after her high priced law degree than insulting everyone who's not in her cirle of hate. It is not lost on me that I am stooping to her level but she seems to get off on people getting upset at her, and hey, the woman doesn't seem to be getting off a whole lot. 50 ain't so far away pumpkin, I'd find some poor conservative shmuck who'd put up with you before your fruit is-ahem- dried up.

Medical Mistakes

In reading a book on medical mistakes, I have been forced to recount my own experiences with misdiagnoses and non-diagnoses. I will not place blame with any one person nor will I divulge names of those involved. It will not help anyone to point fingers.
In my personal experience I have seen the skeptical looks on doctors faces when I present my complaint of illness. In one case which spanned several years until eventual (and coincidental) diagnoses and treatment, I now realize that as I was passed from doctor to doctor that my plight was dismissed as the rantings of an emotionally unstable hypochondriac. I was, as many are, at a double disadvantage being both female and quite young. If you fit that demographic you are, in short, screwed.
A plethora of books have been written on this subject to provide credible reasons for such staggering incidences of medical mistakes and those reasons range from funding (the most popular) to the over-reliance of technology. Medicine is an art which is sadly misunderstood by the very people who are charged with practicing it. Medicine is not linear, nor does it always follow the rules. For any budding doctors who believe medicine to be formulaic my advice is this - if you want hard and fast rules with no diversions from said rules and formulas, study math. Period.
In my own cases I have had at least a vague hypothesis for what may be wrong, it is after all my body for which I spend 24/7 in. Picture a weird noise developing in your car, you know it wasn't there yesterday and a mechanic certainly won't tell you otherwise. That's YOUR car and YOU know it better than anyone. Why do we allow others to tell us different when it comes to our bodies? I know that being a mildly educated health care worker, I cannot compete with 7-14 years of schooling, but where my body is concerned I have learned the hard way that sticking to your convictions it definitely worth while. A word of warning: you will be treated with amusement, then impatience and eventually contempt as you are shoved into every conceivable machine and are jabbed with every manner of instrument. You may even be labeled as loony. That is their problem not mine. My interest is my health and treat me as you like with hostility or patience but at least try.
A horrible pitfall of medical diagnosis is tunnel vision or "binning" as I like to refer to it. Binning occurs when a nurse or doctor hears your complaint but also allows their personal biases or previous experiences to mar their medical findings. A 20 something year old with heart problems? Not likely - place in the drug or alcohol bin. Chronic pain with no definable cause? Hysteria or hypochondria bin. I may be oversimplifying but I think I have made my point.
My advice to patients is always, if possible bring a friend or family member to appointment etc. to help you remember things. When in a doctors office or a hospital where you are anxious and are having tons of information thrown at you, it is helpful to have a second party there with you to help remember information later. If there is no one to go with you or you don't feel comfortable with it, bring a notebook and write things down. Ask the doctor as many questions as are relevant to help you better understand your diagnoses or the plan of care. This can also help combat repeat visits to the doctor because you weren't clear on something or you forgot the directions.
To doctors I implore to listen closely to the patient. We know you're busy and you are probably one hour behind in your patients but that will mean very little to the patient or your medical board later if a mistake was made as a result of rushing. I am not immune, I can make mistakes with patients, its a statistical impossibility to avoid it, however if I were to rush through every patient to keep things on schedule or to get home on time to my family, my errors would be far greater.

Happy Whatever

"Merry Christmas"
"Oh...I'm Jewish"
"Well, then Happy Hanukkah"
"But we don't practice...we're more...reformed"
"Ummm...then have a good day..."

Yes I've had a conversation like this. Being politically correct has effectively bitch slapped the holidays. When someone wishes you a Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday etc. I would imagine that you would feel warm, fuzzy, appreciated as a human being, but never insulted. If someone wished me a happy Kwanzaa, I'd take it, thank the well wisher and be on my way. What would ever posess someone to pick apart a wish for wellbeing over semantics? How can you be offended over that? Maybe I'm just happy that someone is saying something nice instead of 'good riddence you horrible bitch' or similar.

"Merry Christmas"
"No, actually if we were to delve into the history of "Christmas" we'd find that it is a repackaged form of Yule, therefore I prefer Happy Yule"
"I'm sorry, Happy Yule then"
"So you are Pagan too?"
"NO. "

That conversation sounds to me just as ridiculous as the first one (the second one is fictional). A wish for wellbeing isn't a menu item that we can order and customize to our taste. It is given out of kindness and should be received with grace and without judgement. Can we take P.C too far? Can we totally abolish the Holidays with political correctness? If we adjust our attitudes for the sake of preventing possible offense what are we left with but a robotic and sterile approach to a once pure and joyful yearly occasion? I am not willing to give up wishing people a wonderful Christmas be it a religious holiday that they hold dear or just another day that means nothing more to them than a closure of the malls. I am wishing the person a great day no matter what it may mean to them, be they a Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Agnostic or other.

So Merry Christmas everyone and enjoy another beautiful day!

For Queen and Country

I saw the movie 'The Queen' with Helen Mirren which covered the turmoil that surrounded the Royal Family before and immediately after Diana's death. In the movie, public opinion about the monarchy was a major subject of conflict which caused me to remember the comments I had heard after Diana's death, even from my own British born family. For decades the monarchy has faced the emerging public view, especially from the younger generations, that they are a redundant, expensive and outdated figure head that needs to be forced into the pages of history.
They are, for the most part, similar to a retired professional who wants to keep their finger in the pie, kept around out of respect as a type of consultant. It is true they do not hold the power to govern as they once did centuries ago, that curtsies and bows are done out of tradition and respect rather than at the cost of ones head in the event of failing to do so, and dissolving the monarchy would not likely plunge the country into civil war in fact it may create a surplus in the coffers of England. Or would it?

I have recently returned from France and England. In France I was delighted with the sights, sounds and tastes of French culture. There was no shortage of things to marvel at. They haven't had a monarchy since the 1700's. England conversely has a monarchy, the sights are beautiful still and they have their own tastes and sounds though not to the exotic degree of other European countries. What is the main draw of England or more specifically London? "Going to London to see the Queen" I believe the old song goes. There are castles and churches that rank the highest on the tourism scale than any other European country. Their major landmarks recognized the world over are directly tied to the monarchy and its history. For every person that calls for the dissolution of the monarchy, I leave them to consider a few things;
Where would tourism in England be without the monarchy? And what would England have to do to stack up to the rest of Europe?
Could England really put a price on their traditions? It is frivolous true, however if one were to simply glance at some of the most popular cellphones, for example, they would likely come to the conclusion that we are not a people with an aversion to frivolity.

I am a monarchist. God Save the Queen!

Can it be fixed?

Sudden Death

Sudden cardiac death accounts for more deaths in those under 50 years of age than AIDS and breast cancer combined. But given this statistic, which is a US stat but would be very similar to Canada's stats, there is very little in the way of pubic awareness especially compared to breast cancer. I personally know of 3 people in the last 4 years who have died of sudden cardiac death. In the Burlington Post recently there was an article about a former Devil's hockey player who at the age of 39 died of what doctors termed a "malignant arrhythmia". In medical terms this would be ventricular tachycardia/ventricular fibrillation. This arrhythmia deprives the brain and vital organs of oxygen because of the ineffective pumping which causes a reduced cardiac output of blood.

My question is whether or not every athlete should have an EP (electrophysiologic) test to determine whether or not they possess the malignant pathway that can contribute to sudden death. On a personal level it is devestating to a family to see their apparently healthy loved one suddenly die without any warning. They have no time to prepare for the end, no indication that their family memeber is "sick". It just happens when they are either asleep in the early hours of the morning or while active.

On a professional and economical level (residing in Canada anyway) there are complication rates and money to consider. The test involves several catheters being inserted into the femoral vein and moved into the heart. Medication and stimulation is administered to provoke the "pathway" which can cause these arrhythmias. There are complications however very small. The cost could cripple our health care system. That said, can we lower these young, promising lives down to the lowest common denominator? Can we say "if they die, they die. That's that" because we can't afford it? Can a woman afford to lose her life mate and father of her children? Can a mother afford to lose her one and only 22 year old son?

If it became a private pay system it would resolve the burden on the health care system but how many people would care to pay? I know I have a hard time getting my husband to the doctor period without him having to pay for it. There is no short answer to this quandry and I am definately not the one to venture an answer, but what I can do is attempt to educate those who at the highest risk and hope that there is always someone around who can administer life saving CPR.

I encourage any athlete to at least undergo a cardiology consult and stress test to potentially reduce the incidence that they will die of sudden cardiac death.

The Lost Art of Polite Conversation

Over-sharing and "over-asking" has become the social norm thanks to the advent of public cell phone conversations and reality T.V. I cannot, of course exclude myself from this since I would consider myself to be an "over-sharer" at times, except only with those I have constant contact with (friends, close co-workers, etc) people I share my life with daily. Not that I give sexual play-by-play or discuss my family's most intimate details but my heart is firmly planted on my sleeve. I do find it difficult at times to conceal my emotions, but that is not the tone of my post. What I am specifically referring to is conversation among acquaintances and virtual strangers.

I was recently at my husband's cousins baby shower when a woman I have never met leaned right over to me and with a smile asked me if I have any children. I glanced down at her tiny 5-month pregnant bump and quietly replied 'no'. It should have stopped there, nay it should never have been asked but she proceeded with the "interview". "Why don't you have any? Are you going to have any? Are you waiting?" By this time I was hell-bent on embarassing her the way I felt she was embarassing me by asking me all these questions in front of all these mothers with their bouncing babies. So I leaned right in and told her why, which wasn't pretty. Her face showed everything I had felt, she was sorry she asked and I had made my point. That was over-sharing but in my view it needed to happen.

When did it become acceptable to question people on their love lives, their fertility, even their financial ventures? My method to get information from people I don't know is to listen and ask the RIGHT questions. For example, wonder if someone is married? "So have you been to anywhere interesing lately?" Usually the answer will come in the form of we or I. It's not fool-proof but you have asked a polite question to which you may get more information if you listen long enough.

Another question I hate (especially because I know I've gained some weight) are you pregnant? Who asks that? I NEVER, EVER ask that even if the woman looks like she's ready to give birth for several reasons 1) she may just be fat 2) She's already given birth 3) she lost the baby in late term or 4) She may have advanced stomach cancer (I've had a patient with this before, she looked pregnant).

Where did the days of "how's the family", "read any good books lately?", "have you ever been to...?", get to? I miss them. My mother always told me when you meet someone, never talk about, sex, politics or religion. My mum is smart.

Calling all "Medical Types"

For anyone entering, or presently in the medical field and who performs physical exams, this book is invaluable. I have had the priviledge for the last 2+ years to work with both Dr. Ranganathan and Dr. Sivaciyan and as I read this book I can easily detect their individual teaching styles coming through the pages. Both have a breezy, charismatic, comprehensive but most of all detailed way of teaching the ins and outs of cardiology. I purchased this book when it first came out and began reading it, even though I will never perform a cardiac physical exam. The information is still invaluable even for the health sciences student because of the way the authors explain how cardiac disease manifest physically and how to detect certain diseases using the 5 senses in an increasingly technologically inclined world.

My bottom line is that this book stands out among other texts I have read and would be a valuable tool for any clinician to own as part of their health care arsenal.

p.s these guys know I'm not blowing smoke. If I thought that their book sucked I'd say as much. Just thought I'd mention that.

From Holy Mouths comes Holy S***

'Pope Benedict XVI was damned throughout the Muslim world and likened to Hitler and a blood-lusting medieval crusader yesterday after he linked Islam to violence in a speech to a German university.
The Pope, quoting a 15th-century Byzantine emperor, told his audience at the University of Regensburg: "Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Globe and Mail Sept 16/06

Show me something that the Pope has brought that is new and all you will find is violence, hate and evil. All that Pope John Paul II did has been undone by one 'quote' from the 15th century. His defense has been that he was 'only quoting a 15th century Byzantine Emperor. So, then what was the point of quoting it? What did he want to stir in people? Why must he attack a prophet which so many Muslims hold Holy? He has damaged a whole religion and a people for what? If I were still a Catholic I would call for his complete removal from the throne of St. Peter. He is a pitbull that should be muzzled.

Religion and faith should not be a sword which one swings at the throats of others of a different religion, especially when the one wielding that sword is the "leader" of a faith. He was apparently using this quote to illustrate the violence that is against "the nature of God" which he believes the Muslims commit. But did not the very Bible from which he preaches state "let he who is without sin cast the first stone"? While I am in this vein of my diatribe, how many violent and unnecessary wars have been sanctioned by the Vatican and their Pope? Can anyone who has been educated in history recall that Pope Pius V sanctioned the regicide of Elizabeth I of England for being Protestant. Yes a long time ago but when to compared to this current event it runs the same course, inspiring hate in people for others who differ in their beliefs.

So in the end the Catholics have a good example of how not to treat others, how not to honor your God by trashing different faiths which, in the end, aren't so different to Christianity. When you follow a faith whose Messiah taught (pardon the oversimplification) kindness, toleration and reverence for your 'neighbor', it may do well to actually follow that example and leave the quotes of ancient and equally ignorant peoples to the history books. In a time when Catholicism is drowning in its own apathy and where it's ecclesiastical attendance levels are at an all time low, the most "Holy Pope" should focus on his duties to his own religious order and let the others alone. May God, anyone's God, show him light.

2 Mean 4 U

Everyone remembers their school years. Elementary and high school, or at least I do. I always remember wishing for it to be over, and to get out into the real world. I still feel the same, I do not yearn for the "carefree days"of being a student. It was a nightmare. I am not the only one who hated school. I was teased, abused and frankly tortured. I remember one girl who didn't like what I was wearing that day so she grabbed my head and slammed it into the side of a dumpster. The teachers response was "Ignore them and they'll go away". How do you make them go away when they come after you? Adults wonder why the suicide rate among school aged children is up. The answer is not that difficult to figure out.

I am an adult now and though this horrible behavior isn't present in the same form at the workplace it can still manifest. What is different though, is that it is not tolerated at least not in my company. You can and will be fired for being a jackass. What is the underlying mechanism that drives young people to engage in behavior that they would otherwise not? Even their parents are gobsmacked when they hear that their precious, sweet child is in fact an abusive, terror. People, this will not be news... It is the same mechanism that drives young people to join a gang. Friends who torture together, stay together. You are either with them or against them and no one wants to be on the outside.

Could we stop this? Not likely since it is a part of the development process in our society. What we can do as adults is to listen to our kids, whether they are on the giving or receiving end of the bullying. Kids will give off subtle hints that they are having or giving trouble. Ask the right question and you may uncover the answer.

Parents would do well to listen closely to their children as they recount (or fail to) their school day. I realize we are all so busy but hey, what did we have kids for? What is done today may take years to undo later on, if you're lucky enough to get that chance. Kids will be kids, but it is our duty as parents and supervising adult to make sure they are kids for as long as possible without the abuse, bullying and misery.

Where Were You?

This coming Monday will be the 5th anniversary of 9/11. I certainly remember where I was on that horrific day. I was in my second year of college and home sick that dya with my yearly late summer cold. I was woken up at 8:20 in the morning when my mum called me to tell me to turn on the news. I went downstairs where my dad was watching T.V with my then fiance. My dad couldn't even peel his eyes away when he said "someone's going to be in big trouble!" For days none of us could leave the living room. I managed to concentrate in class but promptly ran to my car after class to listen to the news. CNN became a permanent fixture in our house for about a week. We eventually went to our cottage and vowed not to turn on the T.V. Even though none of was even in NYC, it still drained us emotionally to watch the devestation and feel the pain inflicted on humanity that day. Five years later, I still can't watch video footage of that day without a small shudder creeping its way up my back. Regardless of the reasons why it happened or the events it subsequently brought about, my thoughts are still with those who lost loved ones, my pain for them is still as raw and my hope is still as great that the world will never again encounter such evil. Lest we forget.

The Pagan Christ and the Endangered Church

I was going to wait to write this until after I had finished the book but I couldn't - it's that good. This isn't a book that can be easily dismissed as another "log on the fire" but a book that could possibly, if heeded by religious sects the worldover, reform the way society as a whole views the church and bring them back into the fold. Also compelling about this book (so far) is that there is actual "proof"of sorts for the authors arguements (I looked most of them up to ensure he wasn't creatively editing to prove his point). Since the 1960's, there has been a steady decline in church attendance, does that mean society no longer needs or cares for a higher power? something to believe in? I don't think so. My person feeling which I believe most would agree with, is that in this age of scientific advancement at the speed of light (look at your first digital camera, hilarious huh?) humans can no longer relate to the stories of the Bible passed off as historical fact, nor can they turn to the lessons as they are presented at face value as a model to live their lives. As I read this book, I find myself at greater peace with my spirituality. Imagine how difficult it is to attempt to model your behaviour after a demi-god who lived 2000 years ago, and what if we started to look within to cultivate the Christ within? Now think how the church would react to now know that their teachings are antiquated and defunct. If the church were to adapt to this knowledge of the Christ within ourselves, and not continue the fear factory of a vengeful God and perfect Demi-god, they may find church attendance growing. I know I'd go. Still there are those who gain a lot of peace going to church to hear the Scriptures, but I don't believe that this type of person will exist much longer. I would encourage anyone from the fundamentalist to the agnostic curious alike to read this book with an open mind and heart.

Just take my coffee too

I found out today that my favorite morning radio show host was fired. I loved that show. I loved him. I feel like I've been broken up with here! Who do I turn to now for my laughs? Quippy comments on current events, snarky remarks, even the odd sex joke were the key ingredients combined with my coffee to make me less than disgruntled on my long commute to work. I didn't listen to this station for the music, I tolerated the music FOR the talk radio. The music was crap! One more Nickleback song and I was going to go mad(der). Well, favorite radio D.J may your show rest in peace, right next to my listenership. I have since dusted off my iPod.

More War

Here we go again. More war. As I've stated before I don't know why but whatever the reason it's likely trivial on the surface, and either about some long fueded over territory border or money or a bit of column A and a bit of column B. I sort of don't care what the reason. Here's a poor analogy for why I don't care. I'm driving along the highway to work, minding my own business while some asshole rides my tail for 20 kilometers honking the whole way, pissing me off and putting my life in danger. Yeah what a jerk! BUT if I stop my car, get out and walk over to his window and bash the crap out of the window and subsequently his head, does it now matter what he did? No, I'm going to jail for manslaughter, yes he was a jerk but I could solve it with some ripe words and a police report (by the way this has never happened to me, just a hypothetical). The point of this rambling analogy is that actions and reactions have to be level. You tap me I tap back, not you tap me and grab the nearest piece of furniture and whack you over the head with WWE style. Two year olds have the social understanding not to do that, so why are countries doing that? Bunch of animals! WHy can't we talk things out anymore. Imagine the world if every Jane and Joe settled disagreements and grievances thusly. The office alone would be a bloody scene, over aPost-it or something. So if the average civilian must deal with their issues in a diplomatic and non-violent manner, with the treat of imprisonment if they do not, what are the consequences for leaders of countries who do not do so? If this continues there'll be no one left to fight on either side. PLEASE STOP!

Where's The Popcorn?

"My mommy took my toys away! Uh-oh, I think my diaper needs a change..."



Ballistics missile attack courtesy of North Korea. Well wasn't that just the biggest temper tantrum you've ever seen? All joking aside, who gave this lunatic access to anything more harmful than a plastic spoon? As I've said before, I'm not an authority on politics in fact I'm frankly ignorant for the most part but I didn't understand what happened yesterday and why. There seems no reason to launch missiles at a country while their back is turned. Did anyone else see that coming? What did Japan do exactly? Make a "Yo, Mamma" joke or something? Or were there really no good movies for him to watch that day?
I don't mean to make light of the situation, I simply see the situation from an ignorant peep hole in my world. All I see is a deranged little boy with big, dangerous toys, and not enough productive (not to mention positive) things to do. Someone get the man a new movie and lock up the weapons, he's on a time-out.

The Human Condition

When we have something great happen to us, as individuals, we relish in it and cherish it - for a short period of time (in my case 48 hours). Conversely, if something terrible happens, anything from the relatively trivial event of spilling coffee on the crotch of a pair of brand new white pants to the catastrophic death of a loved one, we dwell on it almost infinately. I may be speaking for myself, who knows, but I do see this same behaviour in others.

I'm sure there are plenty of psychological explanations for this, none of which I will endeavor to publish here. Whenever I have a terrible experience I tend to replay it in my mind over and over for much longer than one should, however when something good happens I almost feel guilty to indulge my self-satisfaction. I often wonder why we are programmed this way since it seems so counter productive and not to mention slightly sociopathic. I once won a competition that I was very proud of but when I received accolades, I downplayed the accomplishment. What the hell?
In comparison, the loss of a lover or a failure on an exam would be picked apart, examined, analysed and held aloft so that all could behold it and comment. What did I do wrong? How could I have made it better or prevented the failure? This will churn in my head during any quiet momment I attempt to steal, of course I am dramatizing for emphasis, it's actually more of an annoying little feeling in the pit of my stomach that doesn't feel right.

This post was triggered by a 'Sex and the City' episode (the one where Carrie is obsessing over Big repeatedly to her friends until they finally break and tell her to see a shrink) which got me thinking about how we deal with heartbreaking events in our lives. Some are private and deal with it quitely while others tire their friends with the endless chorus of "Well what do you think? What should I do? I'm right! Right?. I happen to fall somewhere in the middle (a 60/40 split, I won't distinguish which is which). I personally, would like to deal with my triumph's with same mental effort as I do my tribulations. I think women in general would agree (maybe not my mother-in-law, she's a ROCK!! It's crazy!!) with me on this.

The next time I do something well, I'm going to attempt to dwell on it for a good two weeks, accept the accolades as I do the consoling advice and swirl it around luxuriously in my head as one would with a fine brandy.

The negatives I will try to dismiss with a lazy "Oh it was nothing".

Things To Do Before I Die

These are some things I would like to do before I die... (in no particular order)

1) Go back to school
2) Visit Japan
3) Visit India
4) Learn Gaelic
5) Write a book
6) Lie in the grass for an hour, no cellphone, no pager, no talking, no purpose other than to just lie there
7) Teach someone something they never forget
8) Learn to not care what other peoplr think of me
9) Forget insults
10) Learn not to take myself so seriously
11) Make an origami swan perfectly
12) Dance for an audience just one more time
13) Make a perfect curry
14) Drive across Canada
15) Take down a few emotional walls
16) Own a pair of Prada shoes
17) Go to New York with a one way ticket
18) Go to London with a one way ticket
19) Learn to turn off my thoughts at will
20) Be really good at something
21) Read Ulysses
22) Do something that scares me - like jump out of a plane
23) Have a child (maybe)
24) Learn Latin
25) Get a few more tattoos
26) Swim in the lake at night
27) Learn to pronounce this, Xoloitzcuintli, properly
28) Learn to play the Cello
29) Climb the Himalayan Mountains
30) Go to Egypt
31) Build something
32) Enjoy every moment

Book Review

I recently re-ignited my previous affair with a book titled "How We Die: Reflections on Life's Final Chapter" By Dr. Sherwin B. Nuland. I know what you're thinking 'Gee isn't she a ray of sunshine?', but despite the book's morbid title, it is much more than the stark and sterile biological breakdown of the body's ultimate demise. Depressing - a bit, gruesome - sometimes, compassionate - always. This physician writes with the knowledge of a seasoned practitioner but with the tenderness that one doesn't usually possess at the end of such a grueling career. It is rare to find a physician at the end of his/her practice with this kind of tenderness that hasn't been chipped away by impossible patients and equally impossible health care systems (for you Americans I have one acronym HMO, need I say more?). Not to say that physician's don't feel this way, it's just not outwardly apparent to people like me for instance. Most physician's would prefer not to reflect on their career since the first time around was draining enough.

The author recounts a time when he watched a patient and friend die in front of him from complications of heart failure. He tells it with two voices, the doctor and the friend, perfectly blending together harmoniously each voice getting it's chance to evaluate the situation. This must have been one of the most difficult times in this doctors life, or so I would imagine.

Bottom line, for any lay person, green horn to the health care field, or even seasoned physician, this book gives a wonderful perspective on life both from the biological, scientific breakdown and raw humanity.

Da Vinci Wars

In a recent issue of Vanity Fair, an article focused on another plagerism suit against Dan Brown. Long story short it went nowhere. Too bad. Who really cares? Except people like me who blog about it. But this is not what I'm blogging about necessarily. I'm commenting on the whole Dan Brown/Da Vinci Code controversy. First, why is it controversy? Did anyone get this pissed off over Charlotte Brontë's writings (I'm not comparing the two just work with me here)? It's a story. Yes, he's trying to pass some of it off as truth but truth has basis in fact and to date no solid fact has been found despite the best efforts of the authors of Holy Blood, Holy Grail. My position is that I agree that the patriarchal Christian church did in fact supress much of the female involvement in the Bible and that nothing of a single Jewish man in Biblical times intellectually speaks to me (people, he would have been FORCED to marry c'mon!) but what are we really afraid of? Ask any devout Catholic for example (well I actually have so this is more of a story rather than example but...whatever) and they would tell you that unless Jesus Himself turns up and says 'hey I was married and had a few kids just like you poor suckers' nothing that Dan Brown, Leigh Baigent or anyone else puts forth as 'proof' is going to sway them in the least. That's not how faith works. What's at stake here are the few uncommited folk who couldn't really be bothered which way they go in the whole debate. So the Vatican for example is fighting over a few people who really don't care. They're uncommitted either way. Sure if you win them over to the Mother church what a major coup for you but how devoted will they really be? I can bet a weeks salary that they won't be padding the collection plate a whole lot if at all. I know what I say is true because I am one of THOSE people. I defected to Gnostism a couple of years ago because of my disatisfaction with Catholicism. Truth told, it wasn't like I was their biggest supporter anyways. I coulda gone to Buddhism or Hinduism just as easily. Maybe I'm just being sassy for the sake of it but honestly, does a book published by Doubleday really pose a threat to a religion that has been deeply seated on it's St. Peter's throne since 389 AD (er somethin' like that)? My guess is no. The Vatican won't be losing much of anything over this. Just look at me! I think my horns kept poking the priest during eucharist anyways.

Oldies But Goodies - Posts From My Old Blog

Harry Potter - The Gospel Truth

Harry Potter. I admit I LOVE the books. My children will be required to read them. They are all well written, artful and yes, even have a moral message (it's in there). I have been reading some of the hate mail on mugglenet.com (don't sue me I love your site) and they are quite amusing though some are almost disturbing. One angry Christian said "What made you want to write about satanic things? What do you have against the Christians? Why are you making these books to try to turn everyone away from God? Why'd you make the Christians the bad people?..." (edited for poor punctuation). May I, a humble lady, enlighten the "Christians" (for the record I am one), first things first PLEASE, PLEASE read the book then pass judgement, this is called making an INFORMED opinion. The goal is to not look dumb in a public forum. Next, there is NOTHING literal nor figurative which points to dislike for Christians within these books (I've read 1-6 and nada people!). "Satanic things" is a very broad term, which could also be used to describe the war in Iraq, poverty or other world evils, but I somehow think that these people accusing JKR of Satanic sympathies mean the magic and incantations. All I can say in that defence is that right after your parents told your there wasn't a Santa Claus they should have also thrown in 'and you can't materialize things out of thin air with incantations, that's magic and it doesn't work'. There I did it for you. One last thing to clear up, satanism is NOT the same a witchcraft (or Wicca), it's totally different. Wiccans are pagan, meaning they don't believe in the same God or Devil that Christians do. This does not mean that they are hateful animal sacrificing, cackling loonies around a cauldron. Quite the opposite, they are a nature loving, caring, and welcoming following, most are actually Vegan (look it up). To learn more (which is a cure for ignorance) put down your torches and pitch forks and go to your local book store. In summation, these books are FICTION (look it up) they are designed as an escape from the daily grind, school, work, satanic rituals (sorry I can't help myself) for all ages. In a world with Hurricane Katrina, wars, famine and GST why not a little pleasure in the form of a well written book. Harry Potter is destined to become a classic and his inventor, J.K Rowling, a literary icon.

Maybe I'm Wrong But...

I just finished watching "Sex Slaves"a documentary on CBC about European women who go abroad to find work to help their families. These women come from destitution and dispair and look for work as a cleaner, waitress, or other domestic, low paying job. Instead they find themselves sold into the sex trade with no hope for escape. The authorities in each country permit the pimps who bought them to operate, selling them to other pimps some of them being sold three, four upto thirteen times. They are found and deported home with STD's, psychological and physical trauma. Meanwhile, a guy growing a pot plant is chucked in jail for no less than 15 years. Does any of this make sense? posted by Blair @ Friday, September 09, 2005

For Pope OR Country

[Pope Benedict XVI] writes, in probably reference to the reception of the Eucharist by pro-abortion politicians and others opposed to Catholic teachings, and the destruction of the ancient traditions of the Catholic liturgy. "How often is the holy sacrament of his Presence abused, how often must he enter empty and evil hearts! How often do we celebrate only ourselves, without even realizing that he is there!" This has been in the news recently as Paul Martin is a devout Catholic who had been denied the Communion as he supports the Gay Marriage bill. Here, before I begin, I would like to say that I have read Leviticus and understand that it does condemn "...lying with mankind as one does womankind.."That said and disregarded, as I wholy question the accuracy of Biblical translation, I feel that while the Catholic church is trying to preserve its doctrines it has so long tried to hold on to, it is taking a step back to the pre-Reformation and as such may suffer the same if not worse consequence. In these spiritually derelict times when church attendance has reached historical lows and the overall observance of church festivals have been diluded, packaged and sold at the local Wal-Mart, the Catholic faith particularily cannot afford to alienate it's followers. I am not suggesting that the church alter it's teachings to suit the times, HOWEVER, to put a person who has political office and a public duty in the position to chose between their soul and spiritual private life and what is best for their people is doing the church and their followers a gross disservice. The people of this country are not all Catholic, and do not recognize the Pope as God's earthly servant, so why would they expect to be governed by someone who is driven to govern as the pope would? This harkens back to the days of Henry VIII who instead of accept the pope's ultimatum chose to break from Rome, and he had the title of "Defender of the Faith"!Religion cannot dictate the conscience of one who has to make choices which are best for their people, as there are two sides to every person, one professional and one private. A doctor whose religion condemns artificial life support cannot deny a patient that option, and would have her licence stripped if she did, while at church or home she may preach against such or pray for delieverance.The Catholic church needs to realize that the world is no longer separated into neat little countries with one religion each, Europe -Catholic, India- Hindu, etc. it is now inter mixed with many different faiths in one community, province, state and country. If they try to interfere in one percentage of the population what of the others? If the pope is truly anti-war then why not adopt toleration, compassion and comprehension for today's people? This is how wars begin.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Beware the Big Bad Terrorists

Upon hearing reports of "homegrown terrorists" in Toronto and area and also possibly linked to the England terrorists caught meer days later I felt two things-bored and confused. Bored because it's the same old boogie man story and confused because I couldn't figure out what I had just done with my Tim Hortons muffin (did I leave it on the roof of my car again?). I think it may be a case of the government who cried wolf. Is this just a scare tactic to get Canadians on board with America's War on Terror? Has the proverbial ant hill been magnified into a mole hill by the Harper government? Or am I just desensitized by the constant reports of terrorism and Orange alerts?
I recently traveled on business with a colleague who was of Indian descent but was born in Canada. I was so nervous for him because of all the horror stories I hear from a friend of mine who is an avid traveler but also of Indian descent. When he travels to the USA he is eyed with suspicion and contempt. Luckily though, my colleague got through without much fuss. But what are we, as a nation to do? Be fearful of any non white person who traipses through the airport? Or signs up for flying lessons?
Upon returning from a trip to Boston, I was instructed to remove my shoes. I looked at the security office like he had just told me to flash the line up of people waiting. He wants me to WHAT? Walk in bare feet where others in their bare feet have walked before me? EWWWW! It's been almost a month and I'm still checking my feet for a veruca planteris (wart). God forbid any one tries to hide something in their underpants, then we'll all be obliged to drop trow and waddle through security.
Of course I haven't forgotten 9/11 (lest we forget) but aren't we breeding a world of paranoid, freaked out people? Anyone see Bowling for Columbine? There again with every step towards prevention won't these people take one further to attain their desired level of destruction? They're like a disease, a pandemic if you will, which adapts it's technique of infection with every vaccination that is developed. And how far can we go to protect ourselves? No wonder the percentage of the population popping Prozac has quadrupled. We are scared witless.
I suppose for now I'll keep taking my shoes off in security, cutting my airline chicken cutlet with a plastic knife and popping my Prozac.

This is my favorite picture. I'm in London on Fleet St (I think) St. Pauls is behind me. Hopefully we're going there soon.

I don't usually have an opinion but...

In Biblical times Moses saw a burning bush which began the start of 10 Commandments. Now we have a Bush we want to burn. I'm no political watcher (not enough full body contact, not good T.V) but I don't live under a rock. The Iraq thing, the V.P shooting his friend in the head thing, now since Bushys' funds are running ever thinner and the fear factory ain't what she used to be (hey every economy slows a little), he needs a new platform to keep things interesting. Enter the Gay marriage debate. This isn't the entry where I will divulge my opinions on the subject but-and this is just me- aren't we flogging the proverbial dead horse here? Again, not a political aficionado but I'm tired of the same ol' issue. WHO CARES PEOPLE!? I frankly don't care who dirty's your sheets, hey you're gettin' some, that's more than some people can say. At the end of the day, isn't New Orleans still a bit of a mess? Aren't there still street people and poor single mothers and 13 year olds selling their bodies on the streets of America? It just seems to me that they're picking and piking over a piece of lint amid the dump heap. There may just be bigger things to focus on. Just a thought.

And with that, my bored reader, I begin my Blog